Thinking Thoughts 04.15.26

"So, lucky me, " Madonna

Nearing the end of our winter stay in Medellin. It’s been peaceful and restorative, and the woes of the world at large are distant, if disturbing, when I let myself think of them. I have the luxury of that choice. I don’t know why I do, or rather, I don’t know why I ended up in the particular slice of society that has the luxury of choosing peace of individual mind over unrest for the collective of which I am a member. Even posing the question is a luxury. But in the words of a famed hedonist, Madonna Louise Ciccone, who has routinely. made this reply when asked about benefiting financially from upsetting the moral authorities “So, lucky me.”

I’ve always admired that stance, which is ironic coming from a lifelong teacher, at various levels, in both public and private schools. Once I realized I was an integral part of a power structure, I learned how to manage my work life. I joke, ( but not really) that a teacher is a tiny sucker on the tentacle of society. As long as I understood that and knew my place, I was fine. I hung in there long enough to retire with a lifetime benefit that ends with my demise. And while a small part of me is disappointed in my failure to make a principled stand against the forces of conformity -instead I spent my time training children to accept their role as cogs in the machinery of the state -most of me is quite content with the choices I made.

And there was some elbow room in my choice of profession. There are secret passages and hidden alleyways and smugglers’ passwords. It was possible to find like minded colleagues with whom to collaborate on subversive lesson plans, so subversive no one, except maybe the more perceptive students, knew what we were up to. One small example. I was a general science teacher, a fact that puzzles many people who have met me, as they see me, to put it kindly, as “creative “ (not meant as a compliment.)

But I majored in Biology in college because I told myself I could teach myself English (This is hubris, yes, but that’s what I told myself). And a bio major with an elementary ed minor puts you in middle school general science.

And when students asked my questions that I couldn’t answer, I developed a coping strategy. “That’s a good question! Let’s put it on the question board.” And I would write down on a huge sheet of poster paper and offer extra credit for anyone who wanted to research that topic and present to the class. Many of the parents of my students were professors at Cornell or Ithaca College who had dedicated their lives to posing questions- finding the right questions to pursue is a key to a successful academic career- and they went out of their way to express their approval of this approach. Their support saved my hash more than once.

Plus, it didn’t hurt to be able to run a middle school drama club that didn’t make everyone crazy- Fun fact- we staged Shakespeare comedies, which are essentially all about thumbing the nose at the powers that be. But it was SHAKESPEARE!! High art, dontcha know? My drama program was like Glee or Fame with no plotline. Boring enough to go under the radar. I could do that.

So I was a twofer- science AND drama. Like being a switch-hitter in the bigs.

And now I get to reap the rewards of all that toeing the line! NYSTRS (NYS Teachers Retirement System), and Social Security kindly send me $ each month. In all fairness, I wouldn’t have a fraction of the nice things I have if it weren’t for David, but that’s a conversation I will have to have with Bella, Mary, Gloria, and Virginia- Oh wait!! Judy Chicago already had that for me-see The Dinner Party

So, what can I say? Oh I know… “Lucky me.”